A few weeks ago I had an update on how my job search as a game of Risk was going. The updated map looked pretty much like Week 3, give or take one territory battled and two territories won. I had a plan for both the elusive Greenland and tempting Australia, plans that would keep me from finishing the board with no jobs and much misery.
Instead, I write this post as the Napoleon, the Genghis Kahn, the Alexander of all job hunting; I won the world!
Here is the final map:
Okay, technically, I won three continents: South America, Africa, and Europe. My game goal was to earn one territory/job to win the whole board, and with these three I feel as though I’ve won the actual world.
A little disclaimer: While job hunting and getting and having is serious business, it’s absolutely terrible work. You can’t deny that. My point here is MY SYSTEM WORKED. You CAN make anything into absolute silliness.
And you know what? I accepted two of the offers. TWO, MOTHER-TRUCKERS! Australia, go crawl into a hole!
If you know anyone who has made a game of their job search, tell me about it!
Surfing the statistics page on my WordPress account here gives me entertainment to no end. It tells me which countries visitors are from, which posts get the most clicks, and junk like that. What I love to see most on my stats are what people entered into search engines to make my itty bitty blog to show up as a result.
The most common searches I see are directed at my Young Hercules post (specifically Jodie Rimmer, Dean O’Gorman, and Meighan Desmond) and my Villainess posts (specifically Queen Regina’s costumes from Once Upon A Time). A few of my least popular posts have also come up after some questionable searches.
Without further ado, these are the best:
“joel mchale sexy ass”
Um, yes, please.
“once upon a time queen regina spandex”
Once upon a time, Queen Regina wore spandex. Best show ever. The end.
“jodie rimmer gagged”
“astronema, goody two shoes”
Yeah, she kind of was.
“dean o’gorman as female”
I’d like to see that, too.
In the same day:
“kevin tod smith naked”
I’d like to see both of these, but beggars can’t be choosers.
“zulily ads annoying”
Glad i’m not the only one.
We’re on our way, honey.
As this blog grows and loses any hint of a theme, I’m sure I’ll find some more funny searches. Until then, dearies.
Part of a series in which Befferkins plays out her job search on the board game Risk.
My job search has been going well in that I’ve gotten several interviews. I have had or will have four by the end of this coming week. All this plundering is exhausting though! Last week was a mess of information and dates as applying for eight positions the week before gave me responses I had never ever gotten in all of my search before this. Using the Risk board has helped me keep all of this straight. As for how I feel about interviews? Arr, they still blow.
So now my plot for world domination has made me a pirate. With all the territories I’m sacking, I feel like one. Thankfully, I’m not a diseased pirate. The epidemic I brought to South America has stayed there. As a matter of fact, South America is thriving! I now hold Venezuela.
I admit, though, that I cheated with Venezuela. Call it penicillin. Although I originally intended to only include my March applications, I’m happy to announce I got an interview in something I applied for at the end of February. That’s worth celebrating! I made up for what happened with Central America.
The way I see Africa now, if East Africa would just show some interest in me I could write off Madagascar, Egypt, and South Africa. I mean, no one lives there anyway, right? XD
It’s time I move into Asia. I have something in mind for Australia and would like to conquer a few territories on the way. (Cue evil laughter.)
Alas, this week I must take a break. My writing—my real occupation—needs me. I will return soon with other posts and a continued job search.
In case you didn’t read last week, I’m documenting my job search as a game of Risk (the board game). This will most certainly not go as planned.
As you saw in week one, I got an interview!
But then the entire position was withdrawn (so they say).
Here’s what I think really happened: when my people attacked Brazil, they brought a deadly virus with them that killed off the population. (Or a zombie attack. Can’t rule those out these days.) There’s no use expanding your nation when the people you’re trying to conquer all die, so I withdrew my application/battle. Luckily, Peru and Argentina quickly moved in and repopulated. I staged another attack.
Something else happened; I made a new job category out of North America. Originally, I’d wanted to travel around the globe territory-to-territory rather than jumping from continent to continent. I’d intended to move up into the Americas, but this job post presented itself and I couldn’t ignore it. Let’s pretend I got on a boat and took a pleasure cruise to Central America.
And forget Venezuela for now! Africa awaits. I got an interview in Africa (not the real Africa) so fingers crossed that the plague doesn’t get us again. Congo, save yourself!
Much more recently, I applied to this one place that didn’t even say what type of company they were. (How can I know what I’m applying for if you don’t tell me what you are, mo-fos?) Because the position advertised was similar to the others in Africa, I marooned them in Madagascar. The next day, the manager emailed and I found out the actual name of the place. It didn’t fit into Africa at all, so I used this company to move into Europe!
This week alone, I applied for 2 jobs in one professional category and 4 in another. I feel done for a while, but the quest for world domination must continue.